Today is my first day back at work after my second bout of maternity leave. I’m not looking forward to going back this time around. Well actually not that I’m not looking forward to going back, it’s more that I’m not looking forward to leaving my girls. I know they’re going to be fine because Dadi is looking after them for the next 6 months… but this time I know I won’t ever get this sort of time off with them again.
Last time around I knew I’d get maternity leave again as we had always planned on having two babies. This time there won’t be another and I’m going back to work full time, permanently until the day I die…. and that makes me sad. Sad because I won’t be able to sit on the sofa having sleepy cuddles with my baby. Sad because I won’t be watching Thomas The Tank Engine with my toddler. Sad because I’ll be in an office without them.
What is also making me sad is the fact that I’ve had time off with my baby and toddler but I won’t have time off when MissMostyn is a toddler – so I’m going to miss all that fun.
I’ve been looking back and I’m not sure if I can say that I made the most of my time at home with them. And that’s the saddest thing at all.
(Clearly I’m not writing this at 7am but actually wrote this last night before bed.)